I keep a few things that are important to me in my bible. I keep a couple pictures of Regan that I love. They remind me that God did a good work in her life. He blessed me through her in so many ways. He continues to teach us through our memories of our past with her and the thoughts of her current reality which is very different from my own (Amen!) I also keep a picture of my grandmother and Brian that was taken the day of my brother Wade's wedding. It was a great day....I have many wonderful memories and one of them was taking that picture of them. I also keep two poems that Rylee wrote and gave to me. Rylee(like her mother) is a terrible speller but the heart of these poems teach me something each time I read them. They remind me....
"No disciple seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields a the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Heb 12:11
I'm Still Happy by Rylee Mills
to: The sweetest girl Regan
My sister died but out of misery and I'm still happy.
My sister was sick and happy so I'm still happy.
My sister had seizures and was happy so I'm still happy.
My sister hurt but still smiled so I'm still happy.
She was lonely but was happy so I'm still happy.
My sister could not speak her mind and smiled so I'm still happy.
I Miss You so Much by Rylee Mills
to: My sister Regan
Sister in heaven I miss you so much and I love you so much.
Now you can run and walk but you are missed so much. I miss talking to you and playing with you so I say it again, I miss you so much. You were my everything. You were my best friend and little sister. So, I say, I miss you to much!
When I read these (which I do almost daily) they remind me that God is at work through this pain. That He has brought peace to Rylee through a painful situation. So He can bring peace to me too. "
Therefore strengthen your tired hands and weakened knees and make straight path for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but healed instead." Heb. 12:12 I know that God wants to heal but mostly he wants us to know HIM! I know to many people our family probably seems "lamed" or maybe sometimes just plain lame! We have been broken. I constantly make it my prayer that we not resist the Lord's work and so we have to endure greater injury or keep us from injuring others because of our pain. I pray this because of this warning not to risk further injury but be healed instead. This seems like a choice to me. Rylee seems to walk in that victory most days. She accepts God's goodness readily. These poems are not just talk they are her testimony. They are her honesty. May they strengthen you today through the power of the Holy Spirit.
