Friday, February 15, 2008

The War

So it happened, I got sick. I don't have the flu but I have flu like symptoms. Fortunately Regan has not gotten it so far. I am feeling better today than I I am no my way to recovery. While I am frustrated with my body not feeling well I am also frustrated with my mind. Lent is not going as well as i had hoped. Since I was getting sick or have been ill I almost since Lent started I have not made it out of bed a hour early even 50% of the time....grrrrr! I complain way more than I even realized grrrrrr! I am reminded that prayer isn't easy.......grrrrr!

I am reminded that my mind is at war with two beliefs. One is that God is in control. The other is that I am. I want God to win. Unfortunately I am bull headed. I confess I don't make Him Lord everyday. I like to rule my life. I think I should make Mary's prayer mine.

"I am the Lord's servant".....

I want peace in my mind. I want peace in my heart. I want God to win the war one battle at a time.


mrsknewman said...

Something strange must be going on. I never get sick either. I have been fighting flu like symptoms too. I like you have a strong will and have really been struggling lately to let God have controll. Especially in my thinking. So hope that makes you feel like your not in the race alone. I'll pray for you and please pray for me. Your long lost frined from Kansas Kathy Newman.

KimG said...

Grrrr... that expresses things so very well! The other morning we were rushing to get going to our homeschool co-op and of course things were not going well. By the time we got in the car, I was well on my way to complete frustration and one of the girls had shut my hand in the door. As I was driving with my hand in the cooler, the first 2 songs on the radio were "Be Still" and "Peace to You". Do you think God was sending me a deliberate message or what??? Needless to say, I finally listened and the day DID go much better than the morning!

Hope your health is restored soon and I will pray for your mornings!