Whiter Than Snow

This week in first grade we have been learning about adding -er or -est to compare two or more than two things. So I would like to say that snow when it is almost April is very exciting and seems to look different than snow in February. We woke up this Sunday morning to four inches of snow.....

Snow is white.....We also woke up knowing today was the day that Rylee was taking up her cross to follow Christ.

"though your sins are as red as scarlet, I will wash them whiter than snow." Is 1:18

What a wonderful day! She celebrated with her Sunday School class...and her several of her close friends were all there to see the big moment. We will share via video tape with our family over the next few weeks......She has been wanting to take this step for several months. After lots of conversations and a few tears we decided she was ready. Here are some of our favorite things she said to us.
"I am ready for the privilege of calling myself a Christian."
"I know I am a fingerprint of God but I am smudged. I know only Jesus can fix it."
"My heart can go dark. I need Jesus to help it."
"I know I could die. When you watch someone die you wonder where you will go when you die. I know that when you die you either go to be with God or you don't. I want to be with God."

This sounds like ready to me. The fruit of repentance is a beautiful thing.


We also went to watch one of Brian's boys be ordained..it was really great. Brian and Chris have a special relationship. We are so glad to see him take his next step in ministry. (Brian had a scooter fall on his head of Friday so he has a big bump...he is not turning Indian.)


Ryder also was in a play called "God Spell" this week at LCC. They had four performances. He did a great job...one of his best. Here he is with his buddy Garrett and friend Hannah along with their mentors for the play. It made me cry to watch Ryder sing one of the songs in the play in which no other children were singing but it was his favorite of the play. It talked about walking a day in which we will walk side by side with Jesus..... Let the church cry out....."Come Lord Jesus Come!"

Their costumes were crazier than normal.
But this week was the craziest we have had in a while. Praise God who pours Himself out from generation to generation.

Dates

This month is so full of memories of Regan

March 22 was her first seizure
March 27 first hospitalization in Dallas Children's Hospital
April 2 was the day she was declared brain dead in 2007
April 16 was the day she actually died

So we just move from one strange memory to another....

Each of these times hold both sad memories and also little miracles. Strangely enough Regan's first seizure was also while my Granny was likely to die from kidney failure. She made it and so did Regan for over five years. Amazing when I think about how these two are connected.

The first time we were hospitalized we were there for 10 days. They were some long days. We had no idea what we were doing. But we felt God close and guiding us in so many ways. His care has always been tender toward us. There are so many ways we saw him move I could not begin to list them all but a few are:
Regan was already in there computer but we had never been in that hospital and no one knew we were coming. The Great Physician called ahead.
Regan had a seizure as I laid the pen down at the registration desk. You never knew when they would come. God had perfect timing. The nurse came running through the door and knew exactly what she was looking at and diagnosed her immediately and accurately.
The president of the hospital came to visit us and pray for us....his daughter attended a Bible study that I taught. This pushed a test through we had been waiting on for two days...it happened within two hours.

Obviously everyone who reads knows all the details about the last two events. There are so many more than I could write about. We were glad to have her another year....we wish we had more. I wish I was buying her an Easter outfit to match Rylee. Yet we still feel and hear God. His care is tender....even in the the intensive care, hospice care, home care because we are always under His care.

First Grade Adventures

This week I officially became the substitute teacher for first grade while the normal teacher has a baby. She was put on bed rest four weeks before her due date so I am starting early! It has been a lot of fun. I enjoy this age....6 and 7 year olds. Regan might have been in first grade...and here is where I will be on the days around her death day. I will be surrounded by children who are still here to getting picked up after school, get their lunch packed, do homework, practice writing words, make spring crafts....their parents have no idea how blessed they are. Many of these parents don't feel blessed by their children at all. I feel a special attachment with those especially. I have already introduced them to one of my favorite series for this age, "Mercy Watson." three of them checked out copies to take home. They want to come to my house for dinner. They request me to tell them stories about adventures I have taken. The little girls love my rings and necklaces (no wooden pieces or button covers). They show me their bows. I tell them I love bows. Even the kindergardeners show me their bows and hair barrettes...isn't that strange? I have one boy that likes to set on my lap. He says "Do you think I am too big to set on your lap." I say, "No way, my twelve year old still sets on my lap." They knock at my window during recess....I wave and wink. One little one says he likes my hair because it smells good. I already love them.

I must say I wish Regan was with me. I wish I could have pushed her in a normal swing. I wish she could have climbed on rock walls. I wish she could have practiced her spelling words with me. I wonder what her handwirting might have looked like? I wish she could have asked me for a story.

This six year olds comfort me and make me long all at the same time. I know this is normal. I know because I KNOW that we were not made to watch things die. We were not made to let go of things in death. We were made for abundant life. We were made to cultivate to bring forth life. This truth comforts me the most and makes me long for eternity even more!

Memory Lane

Yesterday Brian and I drove to Springfield, MO to watch our LCC boys basketball team play at nationals. Brian wore one of our seniors' t-shirt for fun. Brian is not much of a "t-shirt" wearing guy so it was a big deal.

Anyway, so we drove five hours in the car and then watched a basketball game and then drove five hours home. It rained the entire way home so that wasn't very fun and even worse our boys lost....not fun at all. (This is mostly because I like to win and think it is much more fun than losing.)

However we did not mind the drive. You might call it memory lane. We make that drive several times a year. It is the path way to both my family and Brian's Kansas family. This is also the way we drive to get to Texas when we visit there. So, as we drive I am flooded with memories. Most of them make me smile....some make me shed a few tears... some even make me laugh. Honestly I wish we could make more similar memories now. We frequent the the same stops it seems....the Panera at Rolla, the Starbucks on both sides of St Louis, the rest stop on the south tip of Illinois....I could bore you with more but I will stop there.

Traveling with Regan was an adventure. Some would call it crazy but we loved it. We still miss her most when we are all in the car together. We find ourselves bored and wishing she needed us somehow. She doesn't. So we stay bored. We listen to our "Regan songs" on our ipods and pat each other.

I remember when we took her to be laid to rest in Oklahoma...this is the path we took. All of my sibilings, their spouses and children along with my parents in a long funeral procession from Illinois to Oklahoma. We like to remember that it was also the fastest one too (those of you who have driven with Brian understand this). On that drive all the red bud's where in bloom. The interstate was lined with purple buds....these reminded me that God was close by.....all creation declares it. Though the cars we passed had no idea what we were doing God saw us on our journey. He didn't miss a moment.

I wonder how long these memories will flood my mind. I still have half my life left. I hope they always will. It is what I have left...memories.This is Regan riding in the van.....see I told you she loved to ride in the van! She was our traveling baby! She even had to wear two seat belts.
Okay so sometimes they slept......still really great memories!