Sunday, January 27, 2008

Shaking the Rug Out

Isn't it funny how we all have things we want to hide. Ryder played hide and seek on Saturday Night and we were saying that being found is half the fun. Yet many of us spend our whole lives hiding parts of ourselves from everyone. Isn't it funny how we do the same with God. We honestly think he doesn't know. I think we are afraid if He saw us maybe he would leave. I am blessed to have a closet that I can put things in that don't have a place. (Brian probably thinks it's his garage but it's not!) It is a closet that has our games, my scrapbooks, a couple file cabinets its, my craft supplies, wrapping paper and everything else that doesn't fit into a category. I don't like to look in because it frustrates me because I don't know what to do with all of it. I never want people to see in it...(even though I know some of you will now knock on my door as ask to look in.) I recently read a book that where the author described her basement as being her place of shame. I suppose most of us have some spot. All of us do internally I know.

One of the things I always want clean is my bathroom. I want the mirrors clean of toothpaste. I want the sink to be the same. I want to pee on the floor around the toilet from when Ryder is in too big of a hurry...or one of his friends. I want to rugs shook out and free from all the hair that falls on them. I want my bathroom to look like no one lives it in. Unfortunately my kids bathroom is also the "guest bath." And so the bath that our guest see is the one my kids use. They don't share the same issues as me so every morning I wipe it down and shake out the rugs into the tub and wash it down the drain...and there is sits pretty until they get home.

I have a few friends that I don't shake the rug out for. It is shear discipline that I don't shake the rug out. All of me wants to but I make myself be free of it for them. I won't want them to clean their bathrooms for me. As a matter of fact I have cleaned some of there bathrooms and enjoyed it. I know that they know I am not perfect so I don't have to pretend. I don't have to hide my imperfections. They aren't that impressed with me and it feels good.

I want to be this way all the time but I am not. I hide. I hide my sin in the closet. I make my life look more cleaned up than it really is. I "shake my rug out" too much. I am glad I have these friends I do have....they live all over the place. If I knew they were coming to visit I would clean up but only for the first day...then I would remember they know me. They have listened to me groan because I have to words to say. They have held me in hospital hallways...they listened to me when I was angry with myself because I sin...and because we live in a fallen world. They listen to my ideas, to my dreams, to my failures...and they still want to be my friend. They are my "Jesus with Skin On" as my friend Paula used to say.

So I was reminded this week you can't shake your rugs for everybody....thank you Jesus that you see my know my bathroom gets messy and you love me anyway and you give me people that love me anyway.


Mandy said...

I really like this...good thoughts my friend! It is a good discipline to learn to NOT clean up for people who love us no matter how dirty our lives or homes are.

Love you!

KimG said...

I've seen this parallel in my life recently as well. Since I started working, I can't possibly do all the things I once did to keep my house in order and clean. I have learned to be more dependent on others, which you probably know is extremely hard on me! It has been a great time to teach my girls that perfection is not going to happen, but cramming everything into a corner is not the desired alternative!!!
I have also let my guard down with others as far as who I really am because of that. I wouldn't say it's a fun thing to do, but it is so much easier not to have to cover up or hide certain parts of me from others. Just lay it all out on the table, and if someone doesn't like it that doesn't affect how I see myself anyway.

KimG said...
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