Easter Update

We spent Easter with the "other Mills Family" in KC. Brian's brother Paul and his wife Tiffany and their three kids were our hosts. We went to Celebrate this year of HOPE we have experienced together. Mostly we love to be together to spend time Spurring eachother we celebrated JESUS and His life that goes on and on. We also celebrated what God has done amazing things through Regan's life but also he sent us Liam.YES we are IN LOVE with this little guy. Oh, he makes us remember that God can do things we thought would never happen. God does BIG things sometimes...things like bring life back that we thought would end and bring brand new life when we thought that season of life was over. Being with Liam and Regan on Easter blessed me because I hear God when I see them.
We couldn't get enough. Look at HIM....wouldn't you want to kiss him, hold him, change him, simply look at him...what a great boy. The kids also got to feed baby cows at Tiffany's parent's house. They hosted us for Easter. It was a great time. Like I said...nothing like an Easter where you celebrate new life.....even the life of a cow.

Wisdom is Perennial

My friend Amy talked about her plants coming up in her hard. It made me look and low and behold there were mine. I think this is funny because you can see the dog poop right beside pretty green steams that will soon have blooms for color. This makes me have hope that new life can come even right beside the dog poop in my life even when it is cloudy and cold and it feels like winter will never be over.

Mostly this reminds me of something that I heard a while ago that has recently sprung up in my mind. Wisdom is Perennial. Wisdom takes root underground and springs up when you need it. It comes back year after year, even though you can forget about it in the winter times in life. Usually wisdom brings hope of new life. So it is important to gain wisdom...it is beneficial for so many things. I am thankful for the wise people in my life who feed me wisdom...wither it is through the Word of God, various books, watching great wise people live, personal mentoring, or relationships...or other means...I appreciate them. I am glad they plant seeds in the sometimes not so wonderful soil of my heart. You can trust that Wisdom is Perennial and you will someday see the fruit of it in my life. Some of it might take a little longer than others.

I am in a season of tending to some rocks and paths and thorny bushes that have developed my by heart. Making it more possible for hope to spring forth. For life to come from this winter going on in my soul. My little flowers are giving me hope that if it could happen in my back hard maybe it could happen in my heart too.

Regan is doing great. She and I are having a great week. Thanks for praying for us.

Being a First Grader

Regan was born on the first day of summer. We actually considered giving her the middle name Summer but went with Faith instead...good decision on our part. So I am never sure what grade Regan would be in if she went to "regular" school. Ryder is a summer baby too and went sent him early and he has done great so I always figure we would have done the same with her. So, when I think about what grade Regan is in I think first.
The first couple of years of Regan's life it was hard for me to be around other kids that were her age because it made me sad. God and I had many talks about why all these things were wrong with Regan. I had my eyes focused on her. Then one day I held a baby. I think it might have been Morah Gowin, Morah was only a few weeks old but her muscles were stronger than Regan's were even though Regan was probably three at the time. I realized how amazing God made childhood development it and how most of the time it goes just fine yet there are so many little things that could go wrong that don't. God really knew what HE was doing when He made us. So I started working in the Toddler room at our church. Every month I spend time with little Toddlers who call Regan "baby" and I say "No she is six...she is a big girl." They don't understand (because they are two) and they say "Good baby"and pat her on her knee. They are right. So I agree with them she is a good baby and we move on.
I got the wonderful gift on Wednesday night to be the first grade sub for our programing at our church. I got to help first graders memorize a verse of the bible and then played games with them to help them get it even better. Our story was about Jesus' story of the farmer and the seeds. We played games like plant freeze tag, memory, and even a game with balls and hula hoops. They are a funny group. Three of the kids, Kate, Brandon and Eli belong to three of my good friends; Shannon, Marci and Jennifer. So, I am with them frequently and I know and already love them deeply....Kate and I did the happy dance when we realized we would be together. Brandon put his head on my shoulder during worship. Eli sat by me during class. We had a great time. I helped them sound out the words they don't know yet. They are still learning frequently used words and don't fully understand phonics yet. I don't understand phonics yet either so we share this in common. We repeated phrases over and over together so they could get them to go deep into their mind. We reviewed things like who is the farmer in this story...Jesus is the farmer....what is the seed....God's Word is the seed....what is the dirt..our hearts are the dirt....what are the weeds....distractions are the weeds. They even knew deep theological things like why did farmer throw His seeds everywhere? "Because He wants His Word to go EVERYWHERE!" A great time with great Jesus loving people. I'm glad I'll know them all their life. I look forward to their weddings someday.
That night I had a difficult time sleeping because all I could think about was how I wish I was Regan's sub that night. I wish she and I could share the memory of the night I subbed for her class at church and we played freeze tag, how I helped everybody sound out their word for memory, how we threw balls into hula hoops, ...I want to say to her...."Regan who is the Farmer?" and her to say to me "Jesus is the Farmer Mama....come on everybody knows that!" I want to say..."Regan's turn to throw the ball." I want to know that she knows that Jesus wants His Word to go EVERYWHERE! I know that if she were "normal" these would be some of her BFF's. I know that she and Kate would be frustrating Rylee because they were leaving her out. Currently when Brandon comes over to play he wants to play with Ryder. Ryder and Hannah (Brandon's big sister) are close friends...they play with Brandon but....really want their own time. If Regan were normal Regan and Brandon would be playing video games together or playing cars. Eli always wants Regan to spend the night with him when Ryder and Rylee get to spend the night with Ethan and Ashton (his brother and sister). Eli is special too and he sees Regan more normal than most. He asks expecting that this should happen. Regan should get to spend the night. Jennifer and I wish they could send the night...(they are little still so this would be okay.....) All of these little guys love Regan and are very sweet to her and consider Regan their friend but Regan is a good baby....not a playmate.
So I decided for a few days I am just going to let the tears flow. Jesus said one time when He was throwing some seeds around that "Blessed are those who mourn...for they will laugh later." I know is was talking about mourning your sin...but I am mourning the effects of Sin so I think it does apply. Everyday I see what sin does to Regan's body and I remember what it is doing to the world around us...It motivates me to do the work of pulling out the weeds and rock that get in the way of being like Jesus.
I get mournful sometimes because I want to look forward to her wedding someday too. Instead, I get to look forward to FULL Redemption of the earth. Now that picture makes me laugh. Me and Regan trying to hula hoop...me with my new hips and Regan with her's...or maybe even better we will all be like Regan with NO HIPS AT ALL!

Chantell, Pay Attention!

When I was a child often I would hear "are you paying attention" or sometimes it was "Chantell, pay attention!" This was usually because I was trying to do too many things at once, which was probably watch TV and cut carrots or watch TV and tie my shoes, or even watch TV and fold cloths, or watch TV and do my homework. Our TV was always on and I always wanted to watch it. So, the thing I was suppose to be doing wasn't getting my full attention because I was distracted by TV.

I am a mom now and I say "are you listening to me?" or sometimes it is "Ryder, pay attention to what you are doing!" We don't keep our TV on all the time BUT there are lots of things to distract them from what they are suppose to be focusing on like ipods, books, wanting to pay outside, sometimes TV, getting in too big of a hurry. Then the thing that they are suppose to be giving their full attention to like homework, folding cloths, cleaning their room or family time get shorted because they are distracted.

I have to admit that sometimes I am not paying attention either. I feel the Holy Spirit say "Are you listening to me?" or "Chantell pay attention to what I am doing here!" God said in Matthew 17 "This is my son, I am pleased with Him, Listen to Him." Jesus would often tell stories to explain truth and when he would explain the truth because they didn't always pay attention and they would not get the point, He would say "Listen and understand" or maybe "He who has ears let him hear." This isn't about ears or even that they weren't listening it is that were weren't REALLY paying attention. Not just going through the motions of life but picking up on the subtle realities that God is wanting to show us. When we clue in to what is really going on and not just taking everything at face value. When we move aside the distractions that keep up from giving our full attention to what our main goal in life is....to have relationship with The Father.

As an adult I am often frustrated by my own mind as my greatest distraction. I can't see and hear all that God has for me because my own self absorbed ego and paranoid mind get in the way. I am always working to push them aside to let in the voice of God. This is partial way scripture is so important. It becomes the voice of truth and the bases for all the experiences in life. My full attention on it makes me less distracted and better able to experience life...my kids, my husband, my friends, cutting carrots, folding cloths the way God wants me to.

I feel like this is one of my lessons of this years Lent. I hear Jesus saying "Listen up chick....pay attention to what is going on here... don't get hung up on this thing over here.... what is going on is deeper than that....listen to me and understand....we have been over this before but you weren't paying attention....are you ready this time to give me your full attention....listen to me.....listen for me....listen."