Tuesday, May 08, 2007


Today Regan's seizures have been really bad. I hate them. I look forward to the day when she doesn't have to deal with them. It is painful to watch someone have one so I can not image how hard it is to actually go through them. I think of sin every time that she has one. I always have and I image I always will. I think...this is because of sin. No matter how glamorous sin looks it ultimately looks like this...after six years they still make my stomach hurt EVERY time...they don't get easier.
When Regan has one her breathing changes, she makes a different sound and her body contorts in unusually different and unnatural ways. They wake me from sleep, from eating, from laughing. If you spend time with Regan you begin to know the sound to...she almost always has a couple in the morning. when it starts the four of all yell..."Seizure!" at almost the same time. Then some or all us run TO her to comfort her through it. We can't make it stop but we are there. We know when she is in trouble and we respond in forward motion to her. She can't tell us..."hum I think a seizures is coming..it is going to happen in two minutes and last five..if you could plan on helping me out through it I would appreciate it." They come from no where....they last for different periods of time and they are at varying strengths. I hate them BUT I love her more!

Today I keep thinking how all this fits together with who Jesus calls us to be at the Family of God. What if we were so in tune with each other that we could yell..."Seizure!" for each other. I am glad I have people in my life who know me and respond to me. People who recognize when my breathing changes, when I start to say weird things, and when my actions contort in unusually ways that are unnatural to me. I am glad I have sisters and brothers in Christ that see I am in trouble and respond; their hearts to not grow cold to me when they happen a lot..they are with me in it. Sometimes sin comes from no where, last for different periods of time and are at varying strengths....some more palatable than others...all equally in need of grace.

Aren't we glad Jesus was a friend to the sinner (Matthew 11:19). He wasn't afraid of sin..or all the ugly things that come with it as it's side effects. He moved in forward motion TO it....not in retreat of it. Oh, I want to be more like that. Jesus make me more like you!

ps these pictures have nothing to do with this entry just a fun picture from this weekend at the pirate party.....arrrrrgggggg!


Julie said...

I am sorry to hear about all of her seizures! She had such a good morning!
But I do have to say...ahoy, matey. VERY cute pirates ye be.

fairydust100 said...

It hurts to hear of the pain that Regan goes through, but I'm sure that she realizes the strength that comes from the love and dedication of her family.

I was wondering if Rylee and Ryder would want to draw a picture to be inserted into the CMN calendar inspired by their love for Regan. I think that would be a great keepsake for the entire family to share their emotions. If you would be interested, please contact me at work -- 544-6464 x45722. Much hope, love, and care from this end! Farah Salim

Mandy said...

What a great analogy for life...again, it's God teaching us through Regan! It is so great to have people around who know you well enough to know when you're not acting right, your behavior is off, and something is wrong. I know you're one of those people for me, so thank you!

Love ya!

parianhull said...

It's hard for me to deal with the fact that the sister that pulls me out and away from the tug of sin is not here.....

Oh, by the way, you look more like a "motorcycle mama" than a pirate (ha!)

Love ya sista!!