Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Wait Control?

Five years ago today--when life changed forever--I remember well how hard it was to wait. We were disoriented. We didn't know what we were dealing w/ in Regan. We didn't know how our lives would change. And our lives had been relatively easy up to that point--so we weren't sure how to handle personal crisis of this magnitude.

I was impatient for test results. I was impatient for Regan's progress. I was impatient to interpret it all w/ doctors & try to peak around the corner. But we constantly had to wait. We were in the hospital for nearly a week....we spent most of that time waiting for the next test, result, event or consultation. And when we got home the waiting got worse. Now our doctors had to schedule weeks ahead just to see us 45 minutes. You'd think after 5 years of that, we'd be used to waiting for answers. But I'm not.

I know God is teaching me to wait on him...to trust him. But that's hard for someone who is independent in the name of "responsibility" and a control-freak in the name of "stewardship."

Chantell, Ryder, Rylee & I have been here w/ Regan all day...we spent the night up here last night after some warning from the doctors that Regan could get much worse. But the good news is that she hasn't. There's been no relative change. She's still working much too hard for every breath. And we're still holding ours to see how she'll do.

The bottom line is this: Regan is receiving the most aggressive & supportive therapy she can get right now--and she's not improving. The doctors try to calm us by saying it will just take time--for some kids it can take days to see real improvement. But they admit their concern for Regan's energy resources. How long can she endure labored breathing? It seems we have to wait and see...thanks for waiting w/ us.

4 comments:

Lori said...

I've never sat in a virtual waiting room before, but I have sat in a few real ones. Just know we are here with you, waiting and praying!
Not just me--a whole family, and far more than the 4 in this little house.
Love, Lori T.

Vanessa said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Mandy said...

i'm praying for you guys and have asked so many others to be praying for you as well...

i wish i could be there with you! my heart will be with you while i'm in romania...

Julie said...

Regan,
All of our friends at school miss you! Your little friends in the morning class don't understand why you're not there, but they sure wish you could be there to hold hands with on the way out to the bus. (I've had to hold their hands, and I just can't hold as many as you can!!) They made Easter eggs today with Mrs. Turner. She made an extra one for you, but I think someone ate it:)
Bridget, Miss Healy, Mrs. Clark, Mrs. Turner, Mrs. Davison and the lady who lives next door to you all asked how you were doing, and I tell them what Mom and Dad tell me..."the same." Maybe Mama and Papa's visit will be the extra boost that you need, and then I'll have good news to tell everyone when they ask!!
This just goes to show, Regan, that you are a blessing to everyone you meet. You teach them love and peace and joy, and they are all praying for those things for you extra hard right now.
And of course, don't forget how much I love you. I wish I could be with you all the time. I miss you.
I love you, sweet girl,
Your Julie