Sunday, April 29, 2007

A Simple Song

The spiritual life is hard work. It is not easy to pray, to meditate, to listen. There is very little to show for it. You can spend hours doing these things and there will be nothing to "show" for it. I must admit there have been times in my life when I have gone months without really praying, meditating or listening to God. Don't get me wrong I am always in relationship with God or at least He is always in relationship with me.

I admit it; I am a crier. I cried last week at American Idol Gives Back. I cry about something everyday..I have for years. My mother in law says I cry less than I did when I first married Brian. Maybe so...I think my cries are just deeper now. I think it because I live on the edge of brokenness. When I say broken. I don't mean in a bad state. I am referring to the right state of life. The state where one has been taken by the Savior, blessed by Him, broken by Him, and given by Him to be a blessing. Because of this blessed brokenness I have many heart cries; some joyful, painful, remorseful, regretful, fearful, hurtful. This full heart overflows.

I realize more and more that the work of the spiritual life belongs in the place when times are good. In the days of the "light" as I call it. When the darkness comes you don't have time to do the hard work of the spiritual life. It is in that place you reap the life of the hard work. It is like storing up for the time of drought. This is when you will need the fruit of your labor. This seems difficult to do in our culture. We want the flash in the pan spirituality. We want to let someone else have the relationship with God and just tell us about it so we can feel the feelings but not do the work. We must lead others to Him by the overflow of our heart.

My house is quite this morning except for a simple song, from a simple girl, she sings her song whenever it comes to her heart. It may be in the middle of church, her school, a restaurant, on the back deck, in the middle of the night or on a day she was diagnosed brain dead. Once she even let it out during a woman's beautiful solo while visiting a church in KC. She doesn't know that there "inappropriate" places to sing your heart's song. Some people think that is because she has handicap and doesn't know any better. Really it is they who don't know any better. They don't know is that it is her heart's song. I wish you could hear it. It is the best sound I know...the sound of her Her Oxygen flow is all on her own since last Sunday!


Lesley said...

Hello Mills clan: I have recently tuned in to your journey, Lora has filled me in. I am humbled and encouraged by the faith, trust, pain and heartache that this path has you on. My words are inadequate as I am continually amazed by the work of the Holy Spirit within each of you. Lifting you up with prayer and admiration, Much love, Lesley Nichols

Mills Family said...

Lesley...great to hear from you. Thanks for your heart.

mrsknewman said...

Hello mills family, my mom just gave me your blog spot. I have been praying for you all. I can just emagine how beautiful regan songs are. True worship! Gabriel has the most beautiful sounds too. The ones who don't understand are the ones missing out. Love you all!
Kathy Newman