Brace Face

This morning Rylee got her braces on. She chose blue and yellow as her rubber band colors. Those are her school colors! Now that is School Spirit! She has a great attitude about the whole thing. I am proud of how she is just doing it without complaining. She has had an expander since November....so now chewy candy, soda, nuts or hard things....She does a great job. Anyway I knew the grandma's would want to see. Can you believe she is getting so old!!!!!Oh, Parian here is a picture of Moby our dog. He was so cute last night. The girls and I were snuggling on the sofa watching American Idol. He got jealous and jump in my lap. He laid his head down on my other shoulder. Until Ryder took the picture....I also got new glasses. My mom wants to see them.

Shaking the Rug Out

Isn't it funny how we all have things we want to hide. Ryder played hide and seek on Saturday Night and we were saying that being found is half the fun. Yet many of us spend our whole lives hiding parts of ourselves from everyone. Isn't it funny how we do the same with God. We honestly think he doesn't know. I think we are afraid if He saw us maybe he would leave. I am blessed to have a closet that I can put things in that don't have a place. (Brian probably thinks it's his garage but it's not!) It is a closet that has our games, my scrapbooks, a couple file cabinets its, my craft supplies, wrapping paper and everything else that doesn't fit into a category. I don't like to look in because it frustrates me because I don't know what to do with all of it. I never want people to see in it...(even though I know some of you will now knock on my door as ask to look in.) I recently read a book that where the author described her basement as being her place of shame. I suppose most of us have some spot. All of us do internally I know.

One of the things I always want clean is my bathroom. I want the mirrors clean of toothpaste. I want the sink to be the same. I want to pee on the floor around the toilet from when Ryder is in too big of a hurry...or one of his friends. I want to rugs shook out and free from all the hair that falls on them. I want my bathroom to look like no one lives it in. Unfortunately my kids bathroom is also the "guest bath." And so the bath that our guest see is the one my kids use. They don't share the same issues as me so every morning I wipe it down and shake out the rugs into the tub and wash it down the drain...and there is sits pretty until they get home.

I have a few friends that I don't shake the rug out for. It is shear discipline that I don't shake the rug out. All of me wants to but I make myself be free of it for them. I won't want them to clean their bathrooms for me. As a matter of fact I have cleaned some of there bathrooms and enjoyed it. I know that they know I am not perfect so I don't have to pretend. I don't have to hide my imperfections. They aren't that impressed with me and it feels good.

I want to be this way all the time but I am not. I hide. I hide my sin in the closet. I make my life look more cleaned up than it really is. I "shake my rug out" too much. I am glad I have these friends I do have....they live all over the place. If I knew they were coming to visit I would clean up but only for the first day...then I would remember they know me. They have listened to me groan because I have to words to say. They have held me in hospital hallways...they listened to me when I was angry with myself because I sin...and because we live in a fallen world. They listen to my ideas, to my dreams, to my failures...and they still want to be my friend. They are my "Jesus with Skin On" as my friend Paula used to say.

So I was reminded this week you can't shake your rugs for everybody....thank you Jesus that you see my closet...you know my bathroom gets messy and you love me anyway and you give me people that love me anyway.

Monday's Muse

When you are constantly suctioning mucus out of the back of your daughter's throat it makes it very difficult to take time to cuddle with her. It is practically difficult because you need two hands to suction and two arms to hold; since hands are connected to arms you could see the difficulty.
The other issue is that she requires so much in these moments that every other moment I need to be doing something to keep the rest of the family afloat. Unfortunately, cuddling because low on my "to do list." I am a task person so this list is important to me...many times too important. There is also the issue of cuddling with someone who has oxygen tube on her face, feeding tube in her belly, drain tube in her belly, on top of the suction. It is cumbersome and annoying.

A side effect of all of this is it also interferes with my time with Ryder and Rylee. Really it is the same issues. Practically it is difficult because you are constantly jumping up to suction. You need two arms to cuddle a big kid too and it still takes two hands to suction. My to do list and task driven personality interfere with my deep desire to hold my kids (which they both still want everyday even though Ryder is 11! Yea!)

So last night I put it on my "to do list." Ryder and Brian went to St Louis for the afternoon and evening. It was Sunday...I try to do the least amount I can on Sunday because it honors God and reminds me He rested too! Rylee had her friend Danielle over to play for a few hours so I could spend time with Regan. So we sat. I unhooked her feeding tube...no oxygen...no need to suction...no time limit because she didn't need any breathing treatments. My arms and hands were free and my to do list was being checked off because I got to spend a great two hours holding my baby girl. We talked to Nana (my mom) on the phone. Regan likes to talk to her on the phone because she has a great voice...she is excited to hear her and almost always responds. When I hold Regan I remember how much I liked to cuddle. I still do.

At 9pm Rylee's friend left and then Rylee and I reset the house, got Regan in bed, got our jammies on and then snuggled in my bed. Rylee loves to snuggle in my bed. I understand because I am almost 35 but laying in bed with my mom is one of my favorite places. It sounds weird I know but it Shalom to me. She and I love to talk so we just go on and on. Rylee and I are the same. Last night we mostly read. She read "Honestly Malory!" and I read "Cold Tangerine's." We laughed when we turned pages at the exact same time. We had our legs all knotted up together. Regan was in her bed listening to Josh Groben. We read for an hour. Then she said, as she laid her book down, I want to rest. She snuggled in close and read my book with me. She said, "Is this book about her life." Yes I replied...."like a blog in print." She wished there were pictures. I read for another thirty minutes. Then I just looked at her. She is a beautiful girl. She is growing up. I love it and hate it all at the same time. I wondered if when she is 35 if she will still want moments like this. I know I will.

ps thanks for the prayers about the seizures...none all day yesterday!

100% to the Extreme

Just a quick update to let you know that Regan is doing much better. Today is is on nothing but room air and stating at 100%...Regan is an extreme girl.
(Regan is with her cousin Terren at Christmas!)

She has gotten significantly better in the last two day (since the last blog update) so I am thinking I need to ask you to pray about her seizures. She has been having a lot the last couple days. She had 7 yesterday and already four today...Regan is an extreme girl.

We serve an extreme God so if you could request a break from these nasty things we would appreciate it. But when you go to Him...thank if for this day 100% to the extreme.

I am extremely tired of running an ICU. Brian and I need a break. So we are going on a date! Lil will be with the kiddos. Ryder asked Regan this morning if she was excited to see Julie and Regan smiled. Then he asked her if she was excited about Lil coming over tonight while mom and dad go out and she smiled. (All kids love a babysitter because they are extreme fun!) Kyle, Lil's boyfriend (seen in photo to the right) is going to stop over to see them all. Ryder asked Regan if she was excited about Kyle coming over and Regan did nothing. So he asked her if Regan knew who Kyle was and Regan shook her head no...Ryder then asked her if it was sorta weird to think about Lil having a boyfriend and Regan smiled. Ryder told her it was weird for him too! Ryder called this intelligent conversation vs the spiritual conversations we usually have with our sweet girl. Regan is an extreme girl!
(note that in the picture Ryder and Rylee are in the center of Li's attention and Kyle is distracted by video games....This is the way my children like it...being in the center of attention while boyfriends are distracted by image on a screen.)

What a Walk

It is sorta a funny thing that the person who continues to teach me how to walk close to Christ doesn't walk...she rolls. In times when Regan is needing more care (like now) one of the upsides is that I get to spend more time with her. I learn a lot from being with her. The girls who help me take care of her call it "Regan Therapy." She sorta helps you sort out your stuff because she is a great listener and she never tells what you say. She never says things that are insensitive or that you should just get over it or that you are over reacting and she never asks you if you are getting ready to start your period. (Even though she may be thinking it!.) She just listens. Sometimes she smiles. Sometimes she sleeps....she lets you sit with it. Somehow knowing that she has walked a difficult journey you find comfort in her presence....She is so full of the Holy Spirit's power that he uses her to minister to me....

In her weakness I am reminded of mine. But because Christ is so strong in her you think...maybe he could be strong in me to? Am I able to accept that Christ has called me to give up everything in order to gain my life? Regan seems to have found that groove....
funny thing....the medicine that she is on that is keeping her secretions to a minimum...and in this lack keep her alive...this med was only given to her when she was told she wouldn't live another day. She had to almost literally lose her life to gain a better life back. So this makes me wonder what do I have to give up to get a better life in Christ? Thanks Reg's!

She is still needing lots of breathing treatments but no fever...today seemed a little better than yesterday.....please keep praying for us. Pray for strength...and clarity! Oh, and that Regan would get better. I praise God for you...I wish each of you could have some time with her....maybe someday when we are all Gathered together with Jesus she can tell us stories. I think that might be her theme in Glory. I know she will testify of His greatness in her. How He made her weak because He was strong....I think while she is telling us she will be walking and talking...talking and walking. (I hope we can all keep up!)

Divine Prayer

I have been needing to set down and let everyone know that Regan is having some breathing issues over the past couple of weeks. It started on our trip through Kansas and Oklahoma. The Oklahoma climate was near tropical plus wind minus the beaches and tan muscular people in swimsuits. As you remember from previous entries Regan doesn't like mild weather. She is an en extreme girl in many ways. She likes it hot or freezing. So we are doing round the clock breathing treatments. She started on an antibiotic on Monday and we hope she will respond to all of this soon. In the meantime will you pray with us about it. We are beginning to feel tired so I know she is.

Some of you know that I love the "Divine Hours" which is book that is a companion for people who pray according to the Daily Offices of prayer (which is one of the oldest forms of Christian prayer taken from Judaism.) These prayers have saved me from myself many a day in the last few years. Many times I don't know what to pray, I have no energy to come up with words, I can even speak. God laid this tool in my lap...I have never owned my own copy. I continually check them out from the library. My mother in law Vera Lu generously purchased them for me for Christmas. It is one of the highlights of the season for me. Thanks again for my own Vera Lu! I wanted to share the Final Nightly Petition with you,
"Watch, O Lord with those who wake, or watch or weep tonight, and give Your angels and saints charge over those who sleep. Tend Your sick ones, O Lord Christ. Rest Your weary ones. Bless Your Dying ones, Soothe Your Suffering ones. Shield Your joyous ones, and all for Your loves' sake. Amen! (By St. Augustine)

Could we say it any better than this man who was inspired to write it somewhere in the late 300's-early 400's. Thank you sir...I look forward to meeting him someday when we are all gathered with Jesus. I hope he gets to tell us the story behind the prayer. I can think of no better prayer to pray to the One who never slumbers. I can think of no better request than to ask the One who made all to watch, to tend, bring rest, bless, soothe, and shield...all for His Love's sake. The great Love that brought the woman to wash His Son's feet with her tears and hair. The great love that drove the Father to give us redemption through His own Son. Surely there must be no end to His Love. No divorce ...no separation from us. This love so great that He would stoop to save us from our own weakness. Bless His Name that He is in charge of us wither we wake, watch or weep...I am so grateful that Augustine knew that during the night some are awake, some are watching out for others, some are weeping...and sometimes we are doing all three. God's love is great...His mercies are unending.

On a much lighter note .....We subscribe to Time magazine and I am very behind on reading them. I read magazines back to front usually so if an article is in the front it could take days before I would get to it. Last night I was reading the November issue in which the cover proclaimed "God Vs Man" they had a story on Mitochondrial Disorder called "When Cells Stop Working" (You can click on the Link to read the article.) It is a short article and easy to read and understand. I thought some of you might want to understand Regan's disorder better. Often article about it are to weighty but this one might bring clarity.

Bitter Sweet

I love chocolate and I love coffee. As we were trucking across Kansas Rylee said that she thought I should live in "Coffeeville" (a town in Kansas.) Chocolate just tastes better with a little coffee. Something about the bitter with the sweet....what a great combination. As the kids and I were driving back from Oklahoma we had a great discussion about the sweet parts of life are just made better by the bitter ones. I have a few of those types of memories this year. Not sad memories the way you normally think of bitter sweet but....sweet made sweeter by bitter memories of the past.

First my Granny....who I love with all my heart and who was a very important part of my childhood. We also lived together for a while while I was in college. (We took care of each other!) As she gets closer to eternity with Jesus she has very few lucid moments these days. She thinks that she is 18...that her parents are coming to visit at anytime. She thinks her kids are her siblings. Last Christmas she did not know who I was ...I was okay with it but it makes me said. This year however on the day I was leaving I went to see her. When I walked in she said, "Oh, I am so glad to see you Chantell...I thought you went back home without coming to see me." She proceeded to ask me where Brian was, where my folks were, and how my aunt was how is in the hospital. Now that moment was made sweeter by last years bitter moment.

I also got one of the greatest compliments of my life from Brian's Grandmother Hesser. She is one of the most god fearing people I know. The night manager at her Assisted Living Center prints the blog for her. She said that when she reads the blog she feels like she has been to church. This is a big compliment because she and I come from a very different view of women's role in the church. I know that she hasn't always agreed with me or my interpretations of scripture....we have always respected each other but we are very different. So this compliment is very special or sweet to me because for her to say this is HUGE. I might say bitter sweet.
Lastly my brother and sister-in law have been trying to get pregnant for four years. We really thought that they might not be able to have more children. This was very bitter because we all wanted them to have more. But in God's great providence they are expecting and due in February. Rylee, Regan and I got to attend her baby shower on Saturday. This was a sweet moment for all of us. This pregnancy is a little more exciting and a little more fun than the others in our family because we feel like God's favor is shining on is. It is bitter sweet.

Ponder This!

One activity that I enjoy is to read the hymnal that I grew up singing out of. Sometimes I sing the songs I know...sometimes I set at Rylee's keyboard and try to figure out the tune....sometimes I just read them meditatively and prayerfully. This hymnal is one of my most treasured possessions. I love it because it smells like church to me. I remember sining many of these songs at church back in the day when we turned in between each song instead of some seamless transition. I remember the transition being the sound of pages ruffling. I remember my dad's favorite being page 125. I remember Ann at the piano and Carlos at the the music stand leading us with their beautiful harmony. I remember my mom's neck turning red when she was moved by the words. I used the hymnal to as something hard while I wrote notes to my friends when the service was going too long. I know I didn't appreciate it then. Now I love these songs because I believe that songs should teach something...like doctrine and biblical truth. Often times modern music leaves me feeling disapointed...too simple and usually too repetitive...oh and way to much about me instead of Him. I believe it was the great reformer Martian Luther that said that when we sing God's truth our soul says "Amen!" I love that feeling!

The past couple of weeks I can't get the second verse of "Good Christian Men Rejoice" out of my head.

"Good Christian Men rejoice! With heart and soul and voice! Now ye hear of endless bliss Jesus Christ was born for this. He hath opened heaven's door, and man is blessed forever more. Christ was born for this, Christ was born for this!"

Christ birth is wonderful because he was born to bring us redemption. He was born to save! Salvation came because HE died in our place. He was born to die. My heart turns to his mother. The one who pondered things in her heart. The one who knelt beside a manger He used for a bed, wrapped in him swaddling cloths (and I believe mostly held her sweet lil' boy in her arms. After all he was her first and there were wild animals and strangers there who I am sure did not wash their hands!) This is the same mother who knelt at the foot of the cross and then wrapped Him in burial cloths and held her son again in her arms.
I am sure her whole life long these two moments were replayed in her mind. He was born to die. He did a lot of great living in the middle. I wonder what the ponderings were? She was told from the very beginning that a sword would pierce her own soul. It is not easy to be a mom who know that her child will live a life of suffering. I know that when you watch your child suffer you human instinct is to pull back your heart because the pain of a breaking heart is so great. I know that her heart must have been swung back and forth as she she was comforted by the truth that Jesus Christ was born for THIS! and then the frustration of Jesus being born for this? Each time over the past few weeks when I sing or hear this song It comforts me to know she understands all those things she pondered about and that it was those treasures that she laid at Her Saviors feet. I keep thinking of her looking down on us from the Great Cloud when we sing the third verse. I wonder if they get to sing with us? Oh, I hope so!

"Good Christian men rejoice. With heart and soul and voice! Now ye need no fear the grave Jesus Christ was born to save; Calls you one and call you all, To gain his everlasting hall. Christ was born to save, Christ was born to save!"

My soul this Christmas says "Amen!"

A Moment with Anna

One of my favorite people is the story of Jesus' birth is Anna. She gets little fame in the story because she plays just a small role. She isn't found in any nativity collection or probably even known about unless you actually read the Bible. She only gets remembered in a few yet powerful verses. Every year she is one of my favorite parts but I find myself drawn to her anew.

"Anna the prophetess was also there, a daughter of Phanuel from the tribe of Asher. She was by now a very old woman. She had been married seven years and a widow for eighty-four. She never left the Temple area, worshiping night and day with her fastings an prayers. At the very time Simeon was praying, she showed up, broke into an anthem of praise to God, and talked about the child to all who were waiting expectantly for the freeing of Jerusalem." Luke 2:36-38

I have found that the last few months have been a season of solitude for me. Regan is sleeping a lot and so I am "home" alone a lot. I know many mom's out there would find this find some time like this a great reward but it grew old very fast. So, I decided maybe I could learn something from sweet Anna. That in her grief she found purpose. She lost her husband after seven years of marriage. It says she never left the Temple area. Now as New Testament believers WE are the Temple of the Holy Spirit. So in my heart I can continually pray and worship God in all things. What I love most is that when Jesus showed up she recognized Him. Oh, that my heart could be these ready, that my heart could be so in tune with the Spirit that I would know when Jesus shows up. I also love that she waits expectantly for the freedom of Jerusalem. I pray God create in my a heart that continually expects the full freedom of sin when Christ's comes again. My heart cries out this Christmas...come Lord Jesus come.

ps our sweet lil Regan is singing this morning! I think she is taking the role of "breaking into an anthem of Praise to God" part of Anna's story. It seems to be a private matter for her because she rarely does it in public.

Our Little Dicken's

Ryder was apart of the 20th year of Christmas in the Chapel. He only had a small part as the young Charles Dickens. He did a great job. Here he his with Brady the guy who played his dad. We love Brady. He is a preachers kid with a great heart and great acting skills. He and Ryder hung out a lot when he was in Romeo and Juliet. Brady can be critical of himself and Ryder has noticed. Ryder said, "I can be that way to but Brady says not to do it." I am hoping some of Brady's finer qualities continue to rub off on our youngin'. Brady's girlfriend Emily and I say that Ryder and Brady are BFF's. Well maybe not but I sure hope Brady knows that my little guy is watching. Below he is with Adam (who is great as well) who played Charles Dickens.
It is moments like these when I really love our life/ministry here at LCC. I relish the opportunities that my kids have to see great Christian young people and aspire to be like them. The world through media doesn't offer great examples but our life at LCC does.

Here is Rylee and Kate with our Lilian..(she really goes by Lil but we like to call her Lilian!) My kids see her nearly every week day. She hangs out with Regs in the afternoon. They study Hebrew History together. Lil is not perfect but she is struggling to know Jesus. I want Rylee to not think she has to be perfect but to find herself in the struggle just like Jacob did and Lil is doing.

It reminds me of what Paul wrote to the church in Philippians 3:9. "The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me practice these things and the God of peace shall be with you. " We are at peace with God when we dwell with him in our mind, actions and heart. Part of how we know HOW to do it is by watching others do it. I know that I am an example to my kids and their friends but they need other examples too.

Rylee and Kate hanging out with Kim, Chelsey, and Claudia over at the Casa de Maupin. There are so many people in my life who have and are these examples to me It is part of why I love Christmas because I love the cards from many of these people. They cheer me! Their words encourage me to keep believing...keep pressing on! They remind me of what is excellent. (phil. 3:8) But today I give praise to God for his faithfulness to my children by always (throughout their whole life) giving them folks who can show them what a life of "whatever" looks like. "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things." (phil 3:8)

Life Lessons' through a Barbie Dream House

When I was young and growing up on a simple street in rural Oklahoma I had a neighbor a few doors down her name was Crystal. She and I hung out a lot. I loved to go to her house and we always played with our Barbie's. I liked to go to Crystal's house because she had a three story Barbie House that had the pull elevator. It was so cool! This is the modern version but was the hottest toy going at the time. The way I remember it she also had a really cool car.

I always wanted one. I was envious of Crystal's toy! My mom told me that I didn't need one because Crystal had one. She always said that playing Barbie wasn't as fun by yourself and so if Crystal had a house then we could play Barbie together at her house. There was no need for me to have one..after all Crystal had one. She was teaching me to enjoy what someone else has without needing to own one yourself.
The disciple of thinking something is awesome with out needed to buy it!

I have used that story so many times with my kids. Wither it is about awesome Lego's sets or little pet shop houses, Rescue Heroes, American Girl doll collections....you name it. My kids used to love to go the Hull's house when we lived in Dallas because they had a garage full of boy toys (Rodney included, that's the dad!). They wanted a garage full of toys too! I always remembered this lesson my mom tried to teach me. That life isn't even and sharing is good. Enjoying what someone else has without wanting it yourself is good. That this will create a happy heart that enjoys life more.

I admit I do still fall into the trap of wanting what other's have or even what other's (like Pottery Barn) tell me I should want. I am no longer envious of Barbie Dream House but I am envious of the houses I see in magazines and that I see on TV or as I drive down the street. I am not a huge comparer but it seems like the American Economy thrives if I DO fall into the trap. I like nice things...I even own some nice things...I just want to be content with them and not fall into sin by comparing the blessings that God has given me with someone else's blessing. It robs the joy out of the blessings God gives.

I think it has gone on since the beginning of time. Paul reminds us in Romans that we should rejoice with those who rejoice. Usually we like what we buy. So when I have something new I to share my joy and not feel like if I share my blessing the person I am sharing it with will want it. So, I don't want to do that to me either.

I don't even know if this is exactly what my mom was teaching me but I know that she understood that I needed to be content and keep from the love of money. Most Christian's would not say that they love money but most of us love the stuff that money can buy. Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes that we should be content with our pay. Doesn't that seem unAmerican. We want raises every year, increase of benefits every year, expect that the next job we get will pay more than the previous one. Then in that situation we will be content. Theses reminders in scripture teach us to do what Hebrews 11: 5 tell us to do to be content that "Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you."

I hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit reminding me that this is what Christmas should remind me of ... to be content (full of peace and joy) in the reality that the Emmanuel came like God said He would and that the Emmanuel will come again like He said He would. How could I want for more. (As Mary Poppin's would say, "Enough is as much as a feast.") Like the old Hymn says, "It is well...with my soul" Thanks mom for the great lesson (your the best). And a special thanks to Crystal's mom who bought her the Dream House so that I could be taught this important life lesson. And let's not forget Crystal who shared when she could have chosen to hoard it all to herself.

Catching Up

We had a fine Thanksgiving with all of Brian's siblings and their spouses and kids in Indiana. A huge bunch for sure but we ate great food and enjoyed listening to the kids so that was pretty much a full time job. We gathered to take this picture on Thanksgiving morning. That was about the most difficult part of the week. (If you have ever tried to take a big family photo you know why...)

Paul and Tiffany (Brian's brother and his wife) drove through Lincoln on their way so they spent two nights with us and we drove together to Indiana. So we really enjoyed the extra time with them and the kids loved being able to travel with an "all girls" and "all boys" van. They are finally pregnant with their their child so I think that was one of the highlights of the week for Ryder and Rylee...getting to feel the baby move and all of that kind of stuff.

Today I am doing all the laundry from a week a way. This is day two of this journey. So, I'll write more later....

Our Week with Children's Miracle Network

Many of you know that our family is a part of the Children's Miracle Network family. This year Ryder and Rylee with a lot of help from my mom and dad raised almost $700 for CMN as Change Bandits. They were acknowledged as second place fundraisers at the Change Bandit Bash. Here is a picture of our family with El Bandito the mascot for the Change Bandit Program.

Earlier this year Ryder was also asked to draw a picture to be in the CMN 2008 calander. We picked up copies of it today that you can purchase for $10. If you email me or call me I can mail them to you. Ryder's art marks November of 2008. He did a great job. Here he is posed with the framed art which was on auction today at St John's.
This morning we were also on the teleathon for WBDR's radioathon for CMN. We are so glad to support the efforts at St John's and CMN. If you want to listen to Regan's Time on the telethon you can click on this link and listen. Just go to look for Regan's Story. They had a whip expert there and he whip a flower in half that was in Ryder's mouth and also another one on his head. I think this picture says it all. All the folks at St John's do so much to help our family. We are so glad to get the word out and raise some support for them. We praise God for how He provides help for us through them.

I'm Lovin' It!

So I wanted to make a post about a few things that I am really loving right now.

First, I am enamored with my new cookbook Deceptively Delicious. I have a little known obsession about my kid's lunch. My kids are great eaters but I find it hard to get all the fruit's and veggies in each day when packing healthy school lunch is difficult. So, I ordered this great cookbook. The idea is that you make veggie and fruit puree's that you add in your food. For example this week I made "Apple Muffins" which had apple non sweet apple sauce and carrot puree which adds fiber and beta caroteen to their food and you don't even taste it. I also made Mac and Cheese that has cheese but also butternut squash which is good for your heart and skin and cauliflower puree help your immune system and help your body fight certain types of cancer. I have made other things too but I will stop here. This is a great gift idea for mom's like me who are looking to feed their families nutritious food!It is clever, snicky and easy to do!

I'm also loving my coffee every morning. We combine Starbucks Espresso Roast with House Blend. So yummy...it adds a great caramel flavor. Good job honey! BUT I am a huge fan of Starbucks Christmas blend. I look forward to it all year. Even they guy the runs our Starbucks on campus knows and shows me when the shipment arrives. It actually brought tears to my eyes on Sunday because I got to have my first cup on on my way to church. There is something about the blend that just suits me.
Okay, so the computer underlined that phrase all on its own...must be the Holy Spirit adding emphasis. But I do love it!

I also simply love the pictures and art work in the book. It is a spiral rung book so it lays open nicely lies flat! In general I love it!
My husband also replaced my camera that was run over. It is the same camera I had before but the newer model..I love the Cannon Power Shot Camera! I love this new feature that is called "accent" . We are having tons of fun with it as a family. It pulls one accent color from the background and highlights it in the picture. Fun stuff! I love it!

Victory's Cry

For two weeks now we have been giving breathing treatments every two hours. We have sucked more mucus that I care to describe. We have worked tirelessly to arrive at the point today where she is currently only breathing room air and is is breathing easily. She is producing some good coughs every few hours and we gave her no breathing treatments throughout the night last night. If you have never given any breathing treatments the picture to the left will mean nothing to you but if you have this is a three days worth of breathing treatment trash. Each one of these is one breathing treatment. Like empty casings scattered on a battle field. This is what remains of the battle fought in the bedroom of our little warrior Regan. Thankfully this battle we seem to have won.

This morning our family said a prayer of praise to God. We promised each other a long time ago that we would praise Him no matter what but this morning our hearts of full of joy because he has strengthened Regan yet again to defeat what seemed to be the impossible. As a matter of fact we praised Him because He strengthened us which at times felt impossible too! We have all witnessed yet another sermon on how with God all things are possible.

Someday Regan will lose a battle. I think about what that blog entry will say sometimes. About how that might be a tough battle for me to stick to my vow and praise Him in that moment too. But this morning I remember that I can be full of joy because the true reality that Jesus has already won the war. So I ask you today to praise Him with us. Would you do as Jesus asked and rejoice with those who are rejoicing. We can't all feast together which is what I want to do...throw a big party and celebrate. But will you do something today to celebrate...maybe drink a latte'...eat some pie...have a coke....I don't know what it is for you but say a prayer of thanksgiving and celebrate that the this battle and the ulitmate war is won! ps I took this picture this morning ...it blesses me to see her face free from O2..how about you?

Things that comfort me

This morning Regan and I are home by ourselves. Brian is teaching Sunday School at West Side Christian Church in Springfield, IL Ryder and Rylee went to church. Regan is still struggling with her breathing so she, I and Moby staying home. So we have been discussing some great truths that connect us to the body. We decided that these things bring us great comfort.

That one day all people will confess Jesus. What a day that will be! All people every nation, who claim many different languages, through out all time in history will confess Jesus. Even people who on earth did not have the ability to talk! We long for that gathering. Come Lord Jesus come!

All the struggle will be over. Creation will have the rest of it's redemption and will rest. This week I am tired so I long for a day when fatigue will be no more. I think Regan will be glad not to have to work so hard for a single breathe. She is doing better than she was. Praise God for that. We continue to do breathing treatments around the clock though we are adding in some breaks here and there. Mostly we are practicing our trust in God do sustain her by His power. I will say that I am continually amazed by her. She is so strong. I am a total wimp. She and Ryder had some snuggle time yesterday. It was good for both of them.

Okay back to the topic of the day...Jesus is close to those who are afflicted. So though this struggle is difficult he is near to us. What would we do without that. What a treasure to have HIM near us. We understand Jesus more when we struggle. Since He struggled with Joy. We understand how difficult that must be. I also believed God's heart is tender and so He heart of comfort is revealed in struggle.

Although my heart wonders from God's truth and God never wonder's from us. Although friends and family call to check in on how things are going. God knows. He doesn't have to read the blog to get an update. This makes my heart sing. I've been thinking about that a lot this week. I've been home a lot and when I set down to pray. I take a breathe and begin to share my heart with God's and I feel the Spirit say to me..."Child where do you think I have been?" So I express my heart because the experiences in days like these do a number on my heart....so I get set straight when I let his Spirit set me right.n Thank you for your presence Lord.

Although the Mills are stuck at home we always make time for fun. So I planned a FUNdo night last night and I though you might enjoy some pics of that. Fondue us great for Rylee because she is getting used to her new expander in her mouth! Round one was grilled chicken, broccoli, green apples, bread and mushrooms with cheesy fondue. Round two was chocolate fondue...no marshmellows this time because they are too sticky but they loved the cream puffs and bananas!

Our little Yoda

Our family host's a Halloween party every year. I know many of you do not celebrate because of the evil but we have made the choice to know that This is the day the Lord has made and We rejoice and are glad in it. We love to dress up so we go for it!. So last night in the midst of breathing treatements and suction we had 25 people over. Here are all the kids dressed up and ready to hit the neighborhood. We love our neighbors so we look forward to it every year. We also eat together and each family brings information about a saint. A saint is someone who believes in Jesus. Each family either tell us about their saint or acts out a skit about it. It is great to learn about our brothers and sisters in Christ through out history who have took a bold stand for Christ. Here is a picture of the mom's that worked hard to get costumes together and make yummy food. Tesha, Jennifer, Me, Cindy and Shannon are all important people in my life. They all are those friends who I call on for lots of things in my life. I look forward to this night all year because of the sweet fellowship we all share.
Tesha and Jennifer live in the country and have to neighbors to Trick or Treat at and Cindy lives in my neighborhood and Shannon well she is just always invited.

Our kids decided to be Star Wars people this year. Ryder is Luke, Rylee Leia and Regan Yoda. They looked great. Thanks Nana for helping us make our costumes again this year! You rock! Regan continues to struggle to breathe. We are doing breathing treatments every two hours. She had big attack last night after everyone had gone home. She is better today. Please continue to pray for her breathing. We are trusting God that each day is in His plan. He knows what it will hold. We trust that what He has called us to He will equip us for. He just have to walk in the courage and boldness to DO it for Him.. On an added side note. My sweet husband let me sleep in until 7:20 this morning. He made the kids lunches and handled all the morning stuff so I could sleep from 2:30 to 6:30 with out interruption. Now that is love! Not the flowers and chocolate kind but really unconditional selfless love. I am so blessed my him everyday but today was special.

Quick Update

Well Regan is still not better...her is a recap of the last few days. So we went on an antibiotic for UTI...she also has E-coli in her gut...not the kind that kills you but it is a serious infection. This infection has also caused pulmonary issues. So she is working really hard to take every breathe. This is very difficult to watch...down right scary at times. We aren't for sure if it is officially pneumonia because our primary care physician has not called us back from the X ray we took YESTERDAY at noon! BUT either way the antibiotic she is one will handle all three of these issues. As of noon today she has been fever free for 24 hours for the first time in five days. We are hoping she will start to improve. We are giving her breathing treatments every two hours around the clock so pray for our strength because we are not getting a lot of sleep at one time. Mostly pray for her. I will update more on Wednesday.

Down, Down, Down...

Well, yesterday I took Regan for some tests to be run. Today my Mom and I took her in to the doctor to get the test results...she has a urinary tract infection. So she is on an antibiotic to cure that and the fever has been up and DOWN but mostly down. I thank you all for praying. I am sure that as the prayers went up the healing flowed DOWN.

The rain came DOWN all day today. I must have had a brain fart because I straitened my hair today...which means it didn't stay strait. ARRRRR.

My Mom and Dad headed back DOWN to Oklahoma today. We are so glad they were here. Above is a picture of Regan and my Mom. Aren't they pretty. I know my Mom looks so good! I claim those genes in Jesus name. Below is a picture of the head board and pillows we made. The details are hard to see in this picture but you can get the general idea. They are such a blessing to me. Mr Albert in Mary Poppins in right when he says "leaving is the saddest thing I ever heard."
Ryder had his first school dance tonight so he had fun getting DOWN with all his friends. He said it was typical most of the boys were "too cool" to dance but he wasn't. He fast danced and slow danced with all his friends. No body tried to kiss him so that was a great relief to me.

While Ryder and Brian were gone tonight the girls and I snuggled down on the couch and watched my favorite movie Mary Poppins. Rylee and I each took turns holding Regan while we held each others hand. Sweet times....Rylee and I decided when we breathe in Regan it just calms us DOWN!

Pretty in Pink (and brown)

This picture was taken last week...Rylee and Kim Terashita so I thought I would post it....Regan looks so sweet in her brown and pink!

My folks are here this week. We having been making Halloween costumes....Luke for Ryder, Leia for Rylee, and Yoda for Regan. I am sure you will see pictures of this next week. We also made pillows and a headboard for my bed. Papa made stew to put in the freezer for the kids to have this winter for lunch. So we have been busy. It is great to have them here. Their presence is a blessing.
Yesterday my mom and I took Regan to the doctor in Springfield so here is the update. She has lost a pound. This is frustrating because I thought she was gaining. We are increasing her calories again so hopefully that will help.
She still has a pretty large kidney stone in one kidney but otherwise better than three months ago. We are just watching to see what she does in regards to this.
The biggest news and prayer point for today is that last night she started fevering. This is never good because kids with Regan's disorder don't need to be stressed out by a fever. So, right now I am waiting to hear back from the doctor to see what she wants to do. Could you please pray? I know you do....but today I want to ask for God to show us what is wrong with Regan to cause a fever and that He would make it better. We are hoping for a urine test and finger stick to check her blood counts to see if there is an infection in her body. Ultimately the LORD knows her full well...He makes her well. So would you pray a prayer in faith for Him to do just that. I'll update more when I have more.

"And the prayer offered in faith will make a sick person well; the Lord will raise him up." James 5:15